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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Just thinking

... Just for a reference you should know that I have MS as a result of my service in Vietnam and the VA worries about my mental health. I came home from thirty months of duty over there and in complete honesty I was only attacked three or four times in the last tour composed of my last six months of military service. I'm not crazy and I haven't thought of killing myself for quite a few years now. The Va has me see my shrink 4 times a year to keep an eye on my condition and to insure that I'm taking my mood enhancers and I don't mind.
... Because I have the MS, brought on by 24 months of Agent orange, Blue and White exposure I am oft asked if I regret or would change my past if I could. The truth is that my past, all of it, has made me what I am today. A friend of mine was on the Enola Gay when it bombed Japan with it's nuke and he, like myself takes the drugs to help him not dream so much and to be easier to get along with. He is over sixty years away from that day and he still tosses in his sleep because he sees that bomb falling and going off. My wife has taken to sleeping in a seperate bed because she does not do well when I wake her in the wee hours screaming and flailing at her to get in the hole before they kill her, I can't say that I blame her at all.
... There are many dreamers that want to be known as a hero but only the men that wear the medals understand the price that is paid for the distinction. I remember the first man I ever killed and watched the life pour out of his eyes. At that very moment I lost a part of me that I have never been able to regain and I have never been the same person from that day on. The dreamers need to know that there is a price that is extracted for every adventure a man pursues and there is no-one else to pay your dues for you. Would I do it differently, no! I believed then and I believe now that those gentile people deserve freedom and freedom is the most expensve commodity a man will ever purchase, it is bought with the blood of good men and there is no substitute for the price.
... Today, a gentleman began to tell me how wrong it was for the government to spray us in Vietnam and how sad he thought it was that I was strapped to my wheelchair. I cut him short and explained to him that I had to write my Congressman before the Army would let me volunteer to go to Vietnam the first time and as he stood there, with a slack jaw, I finished with I volunteered all three times and so it is my fault that I was sprayed so much and if I needed to do it over I would.
... I do not understand these young people today. I was taught by my WWII Hero dad that if you loved someone or something you would die for it. There were an unbelievable number of young Americans that loved this country in the forties, about a half a million of them died fighting for my freedom and today there are still a few good men in this country and some of them are paying with their lives and others are coming home in worse shape than I did and we need to always remember to remember them. Pray for your defenders every day, they are all that is restraining the Muslim invasion.